top of page

The Heartbreak of Closureitis

  • Writer: Dr. Jonathan Hoffman
    Dr. Jonathan Hoffman
  • Nov 13, 2020
  • 2 min read

Updated: Jul 28, 2022


If a relationship or other situation ended badly and you cannot move on, you might be suffering from the heartbreak of closureitis [klow·zhr·rai·tuhs]. Symptoms of this condition include irritating, unresolved loose ends, constant woulda, coulda, shouldas and fantasies about traveling back in time for a ‘do-over.’


Left to fester, closureitis can be a progressively worsening condition. The trick is to catch it as soon as possible. Closureitis does not have to ruin your life!


To see if it’s closureitis that’s ailing you, respond ‘yes,’ ‘kinda’ or ‘that’s ridiculous’ to these five highly scientific statements:

  1. Understanding the exact reason why something I didn’t want to end did is as essential as air or water.

  2. I deserve to get every single answer I want, no matter how the person or organization on the other side of the situation feels about it.

  3. Anything or anyone that gets in the way of me getting a complete and final explanation and mea culpa is unfair, arbitrary and flat-out wrong.

  4. I cannot and should not have to put up with any level of incomplete satisfaction about a painful and unwanted ending.

  5. People that expect me to function and be happy until all my boxes are checked for why this awful circumstance befell poor me are very mistaken.

Responding ‘yes’ or ‘kinda’ to any of these statements suggests closureitis is indeed present. And the more ‘yeses,’ the greater the potential impact of closureitis on your future well-being. If you answered ‘that’s ridiculous’ to all of these questions, whatever closureitis you might be experiencing at the moment is likely to clear up quickly on its own.


It’s natural to ask, “why me?” Some people are more sensitive to lack of closure than others, whether it is rooted in anxiety, perfectionism, incompleteness-phobia or LAT—Low Ambiguity Tolerance. Remember, closureitis is not your fault, but what happens next is entirely up to you.


You can spend the rest of your life obsessing about getting the answers you want, playing the blame game and putting your own life on pause. Or, you can progress in a positive direction by increasing your skills for moving forward in the face of uncertainty and doubt, even if what happened to you really is 100% the fault of the other party. However, and it must be said, this is rarely the case.


And now, a word about reverse closureitis—which means avoiding dealing with the fact that something you don’t want to end for all intents and purposes already has. People with this condition are only putting off the inevitable crash when the truth cannot be put off any longer.


In the interest of self-disclosure, I have another form of closureitis. Mine is characterized by an aversion to incompleteness in anything I write.


To challenge myself, I will end with the following words...




For more content, you can follow NBI on Instagram or Facebook. Or click here to continue reading Dr. Hoffman's psychologically-themed topics with a fresh perspective.

3 commentaires


zahufoh
2 days ago

Existen métodos sencillos para medir la talla de anillo de un hombre en casa. Uno de los más comunes es utilizar una taille des doigts pour les bagues tira de papel o cuerda, rodearla alrededor del dedo deseado y luego medir su longitud con una regla.

J'aime

ppppaablo
16 mai

We've all been there, right? You're stuck in a chapter that seems to never end. You want that sense of closure, that final word, that conclusion to the story you've been living. But what if closure is more of a feeling than an event? What if the real heartbreak isn’t about finding answers, but about learning to live with the unanswered questions? Thankfully, anxiety disorders can be treated with psychotherapy anxiety treatment nyc — a form of talking therapy that helps people deal with their problems, such as anxiety and depression.

J'aime

Hannur Orovichengo
Hannur Orovichengo
12 mai

It’s tough when life feels like a series of setbacks, especially when you’re physically and emotionally drained. During one of those rough patches, I tried intravenous therapy at Global Clinic, and it was honestly a lifesaver. It wasn’t just about feeling recharged – it was about finally feeling balanced again. The treatment helped me regain some much-needed energy and clarity. If you’re struggling to keep up, I’d definitely recommend giving it a shot. It made a world of difference for me.

J'aime
bottom of page